


Responsibility

by california_112



Category: Lester - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Nighttime, Pre-Canon, implied/referenced PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:48:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/california_112/pseuds/california_112
Summary: I settled back and glanced at the clock. Half past eleven, still very early…the night hadn't even begun yet. I felt around in my memory for any other stories that could be made safe to tell, settling on a memory of one very particular car ride."I've got another one, if you'd want to-""Sir, sir, nothing can top that last one." my protégé grinned, then yawned widely. "Not for now, anyway. I think I'll go to bed."-or-The narrator can't explain, but he just feels- he just wants McGilligan to stay.ABSOLUTELY 0% SPOILERS FOR ANYTHING





	Responsibility

"…and then, after all that, it was already gone! Someone else had already taken it!"

McGilligan fell back in his chair laughing, a stark contrast to his deep concentration listening pose of a second earlier. I also grinned, partly at relieving the story, but mostly at his reaction. He was so _childlike_ sometimes, and it was very sweet.

"So they went all that way…and through all that stuff…" he got out, between gasps for air, "and it was gone?" He dissolved into laughter again.

I settled back and glanced at the clock. Half past eleven, still very early…the night hadn't even begun yet. I felt around in my memory for any other stories that could be made safe to tell, settling on a memory of one very particular car ride.

"I've got another one, if you'd want to-"

"Sir, sir, nothing can top that last one." my protégé grinned, then yawned widely. "Not for now, anyway. I think I'll go to bed."

"Hey, hey, listen to this one." I leant forward, about to embark on a really good tale. "So, we were in Austria, right, and we had to cross this mountain. One of the guys said-"

"Sir," it was a single word, but relayed the message of many more. "I'm really quite tired, and I've got to be up in the morning for work." He checked his phone briefly. "Look, it's almost midnight!"

"I know, but…one more story?"

McGilligan stood up, looking around for anything to take upstairs. "You should be going to bed too!" he reprimanded lightly, "Don't you want to work on the Hamley case tomorrow?"

"The Hamley case can wait," I tumbled out, "just stay for a bit, please?"

"Go to bed, sir." he laughed, moving to leave.

I grabbed his wrist without conscious thought, and dropped it a second later. He was staring down at me, a towering figure in the firelight. I opened my mouth to try and explain, but no words came out.

"…sir?"

There was a hint of warning in the tone, but mostly concern. I placed my gaze somewhere behind him as I replied, quickly and succinctly, just loud enough not to have to repeat myself.

"I don't want to be alone tonight."

Nothing happened for a long time. Nothing moved, nothing made a noise. Just…quiet.

"I'm sorry," I said eventually, "silly of me. Go to bed, you need it."

"No, I can…one more story." He was sitting down again, staring at me with eyes that were willing to understand, when the time came.

But the mood from before was gone. I'd ruined it, just like I ruined most other things. Why had I bothered? One more story, then it was back to solitude. No rest for the wicked, especially not tonight.

"You were in Austria?" he prompted, and I found myself suddenly able to go on.

What was it about having him around? Responsibility. With him sleeping downstairs, nothing would happen to me, I wouldn't do anything stupid. I might even get some sleep, if I really tried.

"Yes, and…we had to get over this big mountain, because a contact was on the other side. So, one of the guys I was with suggested…"

**Author's Note:**

> oof
> 
> Quite an idea out of the blue, vaguely based on a song...vaguely based on experience...it's altogether quite vague, really. Nothing said, all implied. Hope it was enjoyed!


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